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推荐大家添加下小编微信，

最近好多号都没了

防失联，会有定期福利通知

1.本人男，和几个同事一起去公共浴池洗澡，洗完后，同事甲问同事乙：你是怎么长的呀？丁为什么长这么大？只听同事乙幽幽的回了句：小时候家里穷，没钱买玩具！

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2.今天一到公司发现旁边的女同事趴在办公桌上抽泣，我问她：“怎么了？”她哽咽道：“我失恋了。”我心里一阵暗喜，然后拍着她的肩膀安慰道:“这有什么好伤心的，好男人多的是，比如你旁边就有一个呀。”女同事问道：“可是我肚子里的孩子怎么办？”那一刻我感觉趁人之危是不道德的，于是不留痕迹地抽回了自己的手……

3.和女同事在库房里干活，突然停电了，库房里漆黑一片。女同事惊叫着把我抱住，还说:太黑了，害怕。。。我推开她，掏出手机，按亮手电，把她带出库房。二十多岁的女人，啥阵势没见过，害怕，靠，骗谁呢

    

4.甲：“你说，我学个什么乐器，才能突出我这古典清雅端庄的气质？不要太复杂，我懒，最好能速成。”乙：“木鱼。”

5.小时候，父母吵架闹着要离婚。我挺身而出，劝解道：“真闹到要离婚的地步了吗？难道就不能打孩子一顿消消气吗？弟弟还那么小，你们打他一顿，他又不会记仇……”

6.家有个堂弟，小时候新年玩炮仗，小的那种，玩到一个以为是哑炮的，就随手一丢，偏偏丢进弟弟衣服里了，爆了，弟弟吓尿了，这不是重点，老妈迅猛追我想揍我一顿，LZ 撒腿就跑。迎面是当过兵的老爸刚回来，老妈叫他截住我，老爸条件反射一个扫腿我摔出3，4米。我妈瞬间大哭，边揍我爸边豪叫，你大义灭亲啊。

 

7.我爸问我 : 你这么大了怎么还光棍呢？你到底想找啥样的？？我: 能聊的来的就好啊… 我爸思考了一会，郑重其事的说 : 其实，以我结婚这么多年的经验来看，还是觉得找个哑巴最好………

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程二叔肩上压着一座债山, 老老实实干活才能还清欠债，这样他就没时间再闹幺蛾子。只是程奶奶经过这次的事情后对程美珠四姐妹更加看不上眼，在村子里没少说这几个孙女的坏话。 不痛不痒, 姐妹几人根本不当回事。在她们心里程奶奶现在唯一的身份就只是爸爸的妈妈。 一个卖孙女换钱给儿子抵债的人，就像程玉灵说的，她不是我们的奶奶。 二婶的三个兄弟“教训”了二叔一顿, 程奶奶心疼自己的小儿子，骂孙女的同时, 也没少骂二婶。二婶是得理不饶人的性子, 贝珍家现在天天闹得鸡飞狗跳。 贝珍跑过来向程美珠、程贝贝姐妹俩诉苦，“现在妈妈不许我跟哥哥理奶奶, 奶奶偏偏又让我跟我哥哥不许跟妈妈说话, 家里每餐都要做两顿饭, 她们不肯在一个桌子上吃饭。我快烦死了！” 听宝菱的意思，二婶与程奶奶两人斗得旗鼓相当。可长远来看, 程奶奶年纪越来越大, 二婶这股东风肯定会压倒她这股西风, 现在得罪了二婶, 自有哭的时候。 还是不要把太多的精力放在这些讨厌的人身上，她们有更重要的事情做呢。 没几天就要开学了，程美珠得准备跳级考试。 程贝贝已经认命, 接受了小三岁的妹妹即将做自己同班同学的事情, 她把以前的习题、课堂笔记拿出来给妹妹，“我虽然成绩比不上二姐，但这些笔记都是我认真记的，我们老师说了，考试就这些内容, 你自己好，语文多背生字表与古诗词，数学多做题就行。” 程美珠诚心诚意地说：“谢谢三姐。” 程贝贝搔搔耳朵，“嗨，谢我做什么。我要写暑假作业了，你可别来烦我哦。” 程玉灵下半年升初三，正是最关键的时候，她们学校初三年级提前开课，昨天，她已经去了学校。平常一回头时，总是看到二姐伏案学习的身影，现在只有一个空空的凳子，这让程美珠很有些不习惯。 大姐拎着菜篮子从外面走进来，道：“爸妈不在家，我们简单一点吃，中午吃青椒炒茄子，土豆腊肉焖饭，怎么样？” “好啊，”程美珠甜甜地笑，她喜欢在家吃的每一顿饭！ 程贝贝则提了一个小小的要求，“土豆腊肉焖饭里面加点干辣椒好不好？” 程惠美给她一个放心的眼神，本省西临麻辣大省，南靠酸辣大省，综合了两省的辣，这里的人们当然也离不开一个辣字。 锅盖揭开，喷香的土豆腊肉焖饭出锅，程美珠与三姐抢着吃焦脆的锅巴。程惠美笑道：“都有，都有！” 吃过饭，程惠美没有像惯常那样去午休半个小时，而是拿出书本在复习，眼睛盯着书本看了好一会儿，却什么都没看进去。 辛亥革命是哪一年，“礼物”这个单词怎么写，《过秦论》又是怎么背的？ 脑袋里混乱一片，以前会背的东西顷刻间仿佛全部忘记了。 九月份报名，十月份考试，她的心情一日比一日紧张，家里人为她读函授的事情付出了许多，如果考上不怎么办？ 她知道这种时候不该这么想，可就是控制不住自己往这上面想。 The mirror is broken. " Chen Li twisted her shoulder awkwardly and said that she felt as if the dormitory was suddenly crowded“ Before we finished speaking, there was a loud crash in the closet. The door of the closet was knocked open, and Zhang Jingfu came out in a panic, with a runny nose and tears on his face. "Run, it's really noisy here." just after escaping from the storage room, Zhang Jingfu saw a room full of people. They turned their pale faces and fixed their eyes on him, Zhang Jingfu held his breath for a moment. After a long time, he said blankly, "ghost" is feeling many unkind eyes. Zhang Jingfu is lying on the ground shivering and dare not even lift his head. For the first time, he hates his constitution so much that he can't wait to close his eyes and cover his quilt and love someone“ Boss, isn't it normal to have ghosts in the haunted house? " Qin An quickly helped Zhang Jingfu up. This is the real boss of Jin Zhu, "there is a boss with a sledgehammer in a haunted house!" Zhang Jingfu clenched his lips and shook his head desperately. As soon as Chen Li wanted to say something, she felt some itching on her forehead. When she reached for it, she turned out to have wet black hair. As soon as her heart was tight, she immediately realized that it was wrong. She looked up stiffly, just to a woman lying on the ceiling like a spider, dripping with water. Her hair had covered the whole ceiling. There are also lifeless faces. A heart rending scream rang out, Chen Li has ignored the other, directly ran away from the door. Huang Mao also found the abnormality and immediately threw the camera behind him. When he ran out of the door, he heard his scream. As they ran out, many spirits raised their heads one after another. There was an instinctive desire on their expressionless faces, and they quickly chased them out, including the woman lying on her stomach. She didn't seem to care about them. As for Zhang Jingfu, when he saw this scene, he fainted and his hands and feet kept twitching. Chapter Nine: void spirit bang! The door of the wardrobe was kicked open, and a yellow shadow leaped onto the table and pulled up the sharp knife on it. "Your household register only has one page, right? You want to tie me up and lock me up! "“ Yes, what's the matter? " Qin An didn't expect that the doll was so gentle and elegant. At first, he was a little confused. Then he immediately restored his fishing ability. He pitied and said, "the mouth is so poisonous, but the heart is very bitter, right?" Bear doll suddenly choked, it did not think of the person in front of him难会引起注意，自然不会在学生间广为流传。”秦安思索一阵后，便想通了问题的关键，“但宿舍里已经被翻了个底朝天，也没有发现异常的东西。” “难道”秦安将手电照向天花板，上面只有一些学生无聊时留下的刻字，都是一些嬉笑怒骂的话语。 直到他发现墙壁上挂着的已经发黄的老式空调，在出风口夹杂着许多颜色的毛发，“发现了。” 秦安直接踩到上铺，将空调的外壳拆卸下来，里面顿时扑通扑通掉下许多东西。 一股难言的恶臭弥漫在整间宿舍里，程月容也捂住口鼻急忙走进来查看，发现掉落下来的都是动物的残尸，残碎得不成样子。 大多是猫，也有一些其他的东西，鸟，老鼠，青蛙等等，随处可见的小动物。 都已经变成了森森白骨，有许多白色的蛆虫在骨架上面爬行。 “帮我查一下1005宿舍里的东西和曾经住过的学生，我们在空调发现许多动物的尸体。”不等秦安嘱咐，程月容已经主动掏出手机拍了照片发送，并对电话那头吩咐道。第八十二章 柳善与的经历 “在灵管局消息传回来之前继续往上走吧。”秦安拍拍手掌上的灰尘，在这里空想也想不出其他东西。 “我发现你挺淡定的，心思也谨慎，许多C级拘灵士在执行任务时都不如你。”程月容加快脚步跟上，一同并肩而行。 “被吓着吓着就习惯了。”秦安咧嘴道，你家要是有个整天想着怎么折腾你的灵体老婆，你也会习惯的。 “这也难怪，毕竟你都帮助那么多灵体解脱了。”显然这个女人理解错了秦安话里的意思。 为了不错过任何可能遗漏的信息，秦安二人特意把十层和十一层所有的房间都重新翻找了一遍，可惜没有再次发现像十楼那样的情况和有用的信息。 也证明灵管局确实将整栋宿舍楼都清理得非常干净。 “1204，是这里了。”秦安将手电照射在的，边缘带有锈迹的牌子上，根据一路搜寻过来的情况，他已经不抱任何希望，能够在这里发现多有用的信息了。 整个十二层只Xionghua glanced at Li Xia who was lying on Qin An's head, and nodded with approval: 'Understood.' As the exciting music stopped abruptly, the game entered the loading interface, and Qin Ancai, who had been harassed by Li Xia. Free to look up at the screen. 'What do you do as an assistant to choose a grave digger? Bears like you are called pit X in the game. Remember this term, you will see it often in the future.' He frowned and manipulated Happy Feng Nan toward Walking to the wild area, he turned his head to spread the word. 'I think the name of this character fits my hobby.' The battle was very fierce. In less than fifteen minutes, the blue square was flattened by two high ground. Several heroes were either counting down to the resurrection or hanging in the spring water. . 'Digging the tomb, Feng Nan, please beg, let me show you some meat in the wild! I am a power leveling, I can C!' Although the font of the chat box does not show emotional fluctuations, you can still feel the emotions between the lines. The single-handed girl's sincere feelings. 'It's that the opponent is too strong, it's not our fault, it's not the crime of war!' Qin An sold the crit cloak on his body and just raised enough money to buy a pair of CD boots. 'Strong! Is this the reason why you were single-killed by wild monsters in the wild 3 times, 0/13/1? And what kind of monster is this 0/24/0, 30 tomb-digging monsters that have more than me?' AD, who was hanging up at the spring water, typed this line in a certain mood. But Qin An can see the black mist that represents despair and pain, coming from the void and converging on the bear doll. The bear doll seems not to be happy because it has absorbed the power of will. It looks at the words beating in the chat box. He was so angry that he could only tap the letter keys with his short furry fingers. A minute later, a counterattack came out, 'Don't talk! Believe it or not, I shoveled your grave with an E!' Come on! You orphan who is loved and loved by no one! Your family has no grave for eighteen generations up to shovel!' Qin An silently brushed the wild while watching the chat box cordially. In friendly communication, the teammates usually spray ten sentences before Xionghua can reply. This is the fact that the hand speed is not enough, and when he comes to the end, he is anxious about the bear doll, and directly shakes the keyboard and holds the microphone to spray, regardless of whether the opposite party can hear it. A tense game with the roar of the bear doll finally ended in the scene of the base exploding. 'Yes, you are still very talented. You can practice more in the future.大王卡办理营业厅 【0元用1年】 腾讯王卡助手腾讯王卡助手,腾讯王卡助手,腾讯王卡助手,腾讯王卡助手官微,腾讯王卡助手联通 大王卡办理服务,大王卡办理官网,大王卡办理官网电信,大王卡办理官网联通,大王卡办理官网靓号,大王卡办理官网王卡,大王卡办理官网移动,大王卡办理官微,大王卡办理申请,大王卡办理营业厅