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1.和老板娘看店，正无聊，来了位帅哥买裤子，试了好几条，最后穿着出来觉得挺满意，问了价格。我说新款打八折，这条打折下来是298。抬头一看，帅锅居然前面支起了“小帐篷”，顿时尴尬的把头转过去。老板娘觉着不对劲，过来一看打趣的说：哎呦，帅锅是对我们这价格不满意啊，站起来反抗了这是?

2.今天坐公交，人特别多，不过我有坐。前面站着一漂亮妹纸，有一个坏人一直蹭她。忽然妹纸大喊一声对着那个坏人。你是警察呀！一车人都看他，声音太大，那个坏人说不是呀，很无辜的说。然后那个妹纸说了一句话亮了。“那你拿着你的枪对着我干嘛！”

3.到东莞玩，走进一体育用品店，问:“拳套多少钱？”老板娘羞涩地低下头，小声地说:“我已不做了……”

4.女友在她们家族聚会时，突然当众对我说：“亲爱的，亲我一下吧。”我惊诧她竟有这种要求：“啊？这么多人，不合适吧？”“哎呀，快亲我嘛~”“啪！”我一巴掌甩了过去：“一会儿让我亲你姨下巴，一会儿又让亲你妈。你有病啊！”

5.爸妈结婚纪念日，我特意买了两张电影票让他们去看看，结果他们看完回家的时候，老妈一脸怨气，问她怎么了，麻麻委屈的说:看电影的时候想让你爸搂着我，结果你爸说，老夫老妻的，搂什么搂？别人还以为我带着别人的媳妇呢！

6.过红绿灯，一对大爷大妈闯着红灯就过了，一姑娘也跟着过，她老公拉她一把说红灯，你没看见，姑娘说大爷大妈都过了，不用等，她老公回了一句超经典，大爷大妈活够了，你也活够了？？？

的情绪而诞生，并不是常规意义上人们所理解的鬼魂。 形态也并不拘泥于人形，千奇百怪都有。 不过也好，秦安是个孤儿，从小在福利院长大，这么长时间以来，至少有离夏帮他排解寂寞。 “赶紧吃饭，等下还要工作。”秦安从厨房端出两个冒着热气的大碗，饱满的米饭上面铺满肉菜，一个摆在离夏面前，一个则自己端着往嘴里扒拉。 也不见离夏有什么动作，只是碗里升腾的氤氲热气就主动飘进离夏体内，不多时刚刚出锅的饭菜就变得冰冷，秦安却连第一根鸡翅都还没吃完。 真是方便啊，不对，真是败家啊。 秦安就算已经看过无数次，也忍不住再次在心里吐槽，灵体是不需要进食的，离夏之所以要吃东西，仅仅是想和秦安保持同样的生活习惯，不过在他看来，完全就是因为这个女人自己嘴馋。 问题是这些被离夏吃过东西就没办法再吃了，秦安之前有试着吃过，完全没有味道不说，吃完还上吐下泻整整三天，从此以后离夏吃过的东西他都会小心处理完再丢掉，也防止被流浪汉或者小动物吃掉。 “如果你是这动漫里的男主角，你是会选择那个一直保护你的女鬼，还是一起长大的青梅竹马？”离夏眨巴着眼睛问道，很明显这是一道事关生死的问题。 秦安扒着饭眼皮都没抬，果断而直接道：“我不会选择女鬼，也不会选择青梅竹马，因为无论多少个如果，我都只会选择你。” “你这油嘴滑舌我也早就听腻了。”离夏显然也早有心理准备，语调没有任何变化，嘴角却停不住地往上翘。 吃完饭，秦安简单整理了一下，刚拉开大门，挂在墙上的绣花伞就主动飞到他的手里，电视已经自动关闭，离夏的身影也消失不见了。 秦安平日里依靠做临时工生活，毕竟他的情况比较特殊，要是长时间处在一个交际圈里难免会让人发现他的异常，所以并不想寻找一份固定的工作。 这次他在网上接到一个工作，内容很简单，就是去任务发布人指定的地点度过一夜，便可以领到800块钱。 只是I hope so. " Liu Wang leaned against his desk and wiped the photo frame carefully. He murmured, "is there really hope?" Outside the door, Li Xia kept clamoring to see the photos. Qin An could only hold the photos in one hand and take out his mobile phone in the other. He went far away, but before he could dial the phone, someone called first. Coincidentally, Qin An looked at the name on his mobile phone and couldn't help picking eyebrows, because he just wanted to call“ Hu Feng has been taken into the care of by us. " On the other end of the phone, Cheng Yuerong said in a hurry, "we are already on our way to the sunshine Museum. Are you there?" It seems that Hu Feng has explained the situation to the spiritual Management Bureau. Qin An Ning said: "don't come here. Huang Yue disappeared with his camera. He disappeared after work yesterday morning."“ Now the priority is to find him first and get the camera. If it's the blindfold monster, we'll be in trouble. " There was a silence at the end of the phone. After a long time, he said, "OK, I see." After Qin An hung up, he was full of helplessness. His identity was just an ordinary person, and he had no resources to help him investigate Huang Yue's news. All he could do was to inform the Ba of all the information, relying on their huge power. Instead of procrastinating to give the opportunity to the blindfold monster, it's better to give it directly to the ba. Chapter 35 smile camera "do you have a way to find him?" Qin An's eyes are black now. He doesn't even know where Huang Yue lives. Apart from pinning his hopes on the spiritual Management Bureau, he can only see if there is a way out of summer“ Yes, what's in it for me to find him? " As soon as he heard this tone, Qin An felt tight in his heart. What bad idea was he trying to make? "Can't you help eating my body?"“ I'm sorry Li Xia said with disdain: "I want you to print this wedding photo on your clothes, so that other women will know that you are married!" Looking at the wedding photos in his hand, Qin An felt a strong sense of shame and said: "can you change the conditions? And if I take wedding photos with an umbrella, people will just think I'm a psycho. "“ Well Li Xia's tone began to get worse“ I mean, one is not enough, it's full! Print them all Qin An quickly explained that he finally understood that he had no right to refuse“ Well, look in that direction Qin An felt that his head was gently twisted by his hands何一条弹幕。 “房东真厉害，居然想到将拍坏的花絮剪辑进去，造成无厘头的喜剧效果。”校服男生毫不吝啬自己的夸赞，毕竟在整部电影中，就他看起来最像个正常人。 “不要学娃娃。”秦安轻咳一声，自然不会说出来这是剪错了，无心插柳柳成荫的效果，但一对上上吊女幽怨的眼神，马上安慰道：“不要在意自己的形象崩坏了，你看这不是挺好的吗？那么多人喜欢你。” “不过说道喜欢，我也没想到王莉居然如此受欢迎，现在有不少网友都在求你开通私人频道。” 自闭少女抱着膝盖坐在沙发上，怔怔地看着电视上夸赞她的弹幕，过了好久才小声道：“我还是第一次知道自己也能受欢迎。” “加油。”秦安拍拍她的肩膀，发现传递过来的负面情绪比之前淡薄了许多，还隐隐蕴含了一些期待，想来通过一次次推开紧闭的心扉，王莉到最后应该能彻底打开自己的内心。 “我觉得上吊女出现的时候，眼睛应该再瞪大一点，更加凶狠，最后摔下来反差才能更强烈。” “那是意外！扇叶断了！而且我要拍的是恐怖片，不是喜剧。” “我我的表情太死板了。” 众多灵体热烈地讨论电影里的内容，不停总结自己的得失，居然给原本死气沉沉的美好公寓带来一丝人气。 “灵体还是太少了，应该多邀请一些灵体入住，让公寓热闹一些。”秦安没有掺和进去，就站在旁边静静听着他们的讨论，脸上带着如沐春风的笑容。 这次他的收获也颇丰，从住客们分过来的愿力，已经比得上帮一个邪异级灵体解脱了。 不过此次拍摄也让秦安彻底明白，他没有拍电影的天赋，这是误打误撞才取得的成功，观众总是会审美疲劳的，总这样下去肯定不行。 不知道有没有电影专业的灵体？或者找两个灵体让它们去学一下相声试试，拍摄起来简单，也不累人。 要是真的火起来，他也不用天天追在灵体屁股后面跑了。 在秦安畅想美好未来之际，一阵急促的铃声将他从幻想中拉回来，屏幕上是一串没 'I don't seem to be at home.' Lin Huan turned his head and frowned: 'It's a pity, it's rare that you can come here to help with the exorcism ritual.' Boy spirit.' A petite girl in a black and red dress shook her head and exclaimed. She wears crystal jewelry of different colors in her hands, especially an egg-sized pendant on her neck. It contains some kind of liquid. 'Teacher Qi Qiujin, how does it feel to walk along the way? Is there a spiritual body in this building?' A quiet-looking girl with glasses stretched out a microphone behind her. If Qin An were here, he would definitely recognize that these three were Chen Li, Zhang Jingfu and Huang Mao who invited him to the haunted house at that time. The girl in the dress called Qi Qiujin shook her head, her small face wrinkled into a ball and said: 'It's not good to say now, but I can feel that there is something abnormal here. It needs to be confirmed through rituals.' 'Okay.' 'Chen Li turned her head to the camera, and said in an emotional voice: 'Dear friends who have heard anecdotes, hello everyone, we have met again.' 'With the official confirmation of the existence of the spirit body by the Lingguan Bureau last night , The question of whether there is a spirit body in the world that everyone has been arguing finally has an answer, and now there is an uproar everywhere.' 'Although the Lining Management Bureau has announced the confirmed map of the spirit body and the method of preventing the spirit body, But for everyone who has never met a spiritual body, shouldn’t you have the same bottomless heart as me?” Chen Li paused, and waited for the barrage on the live broadcast to slowly increase, and then said in an excited tone: 'Then everyone is very lucky today. We finally got the opportunity to help her friend with a very famous exorcist on the forum, Qi Qiujin, to help her friend hold an exorcism ceremony.' 'You must know how Qi Qiujin uses it. Crystal should have a very deep understanding of different spiritual bodies, and through this method, help many friends who are entangled by the spiritual body get rid of pain.' 'Today we will broadcast the whole process of the whole process to satisfy everyone's curiosity about the spiritual body, and everyone You can have a more systematic understanding of the spirit body through the live broadcast, and learn how to find the spirit body and how to deal with it.' She watched the popularity of the live broadcast room soar from hundreds to more than 30,000 in just ten minutes, the corners of her mouth A smile could not help but, this time Zhang Jingfu's plan was good, and it is likely to be an instant success. They self移动花卡宝藏卡19d 【移动花卡权益领取中心】 免费领取，200G流量移动花卡app,移动花卡权益领取中心,移动花卡,移动花卡,移动花卡服务 移动花卡宝藏卡,移动花卡宝藏卡权益,移动花卡宝藏卡19d,移动花卡宝藏卡助手,移动花卡宝藏卡怎么样