无论学习中、生活中、工作中，你或许有过这样的经历，明明知道自己可以做出更好的选择，却选了自我逃避、自我堕落的选择。这很糟糕，但更重要的是，我们该怎么帮助自己改变？

How to stop self-sabotaging your career

 

By Alaina G. LevineAug. 9, 2021

 

Have you ever done something that felt wrong, that you knew was wrong, and that turned out wrong for you? 

你是否曾经做过一些感觉不对的事情，你知道是不对的，而且最后发现对你来说的的确确是不对的？

As the Beastie Boys said, “Listen all y’all, it’s a sabotage.” Or, to be more precise: self-sabotage. Unfortunately, this sabotage is all the more insidious because you are the perpetrator.

就像野兽男孩说的，“大家听着，这是一次蓄意破坏。”或者更准确地说，是自我破坏。不幸的是，这种破坏行为更加阴险，因为你自己就是肇事者。

sabotage：[ˈsæbətɑːʒ], n.蓄意破坏

insidious：[ɪnˈsɪdiəs], adj.阴险的;隐伏的;潜伏的

perpetrator：[ˈpɜːrpətreɪtər], n.作恶者;行凶者

Self-sabotage can happen at any time in our lives and careers. It could be something simple such as knowing you need to study for an exam and not doing so. It can involve sharing something with another person that your gut tells you is not a good idea. It isn’t any old action that happens to result in a bad outcome or failure by pure chance, such as investing time to write a proposal on a high-risk topic or endeavoring to be innovative or creative only to lead to an unintended, disappointing impact. And it isn’t the result of a mental health issue such as anxiety or depression; if you are struggling with this, that is a different story. Rather, I am talking about deliberate tactics to orchestrate our demise. To destroy our career. Done by us!

在我们的生活和事业中，自我破坏随时可能发生。它可以是一些简单的事情，比如你知道你需要为考试而学习，但你却不这样做。它也可以包括与另一个人分享一些你直觉告诉你不是个好主意的事情。这不是纯粹出于偶然而导致坏结果或失败的任何老旧行为，例如，投资时间就高风险主题撰写提案，或努力创新或创造，结果只会导致意外的、令人失望的影响。它不是焦虑或抑郁等心理健康问题的结果；如果你正在为此挣扎，那就与本文要讨论的自我破坏不同了。相反，我指的是为了编排自己的灭亡而精心安排的策略。为了毁掉我们的事业。由我们自己动手！

gut：[ɡʌt], n.直觉；肠道

endeavor：[ɪnˈdɛvər], v.努力

innovative：[ˈɪnəveɪtɪv], adj.创新的

deliberate：[dɪˈlɪbəreɪt], adj.故意的,存心的

tactic：[ˈtæktɪk], n.策略，手段

orchestrate：[ˈɔːrkɪstreɪt], v.策划;精心安排

demise：[dɪˈmaɪz], n.死亡,逝世

In its essence, self-sabotage is an action (or nonaction) that is completely misaligned with our internal structure and our knowledge of what is best for us. Self-sabotage implies that we have knowledge of what could be the right course of action and yet we proceed otherwise, in a way that is damaging. So, why on earth do we do it?

从本质上讲，自我破坏是一种作为（或不作为），它与我们的内部结构和我们对什么最适合自己的认知完全不一致。自我破坏意味着我们知道什么可能是正确的行动方向，但我们以一种破坏性的方式进行。那么，我们究竟为什么要这样做？

essence：[ˈesns], n.本质

course：[kɔːrs], n.航向,路线

misalign：[ˌmɪsəˈlaɪn], v.不重合，偏移

imply：[ɪmˈplaɪ], v.暗示，意味着

proceed：[proʊˈsiːd], v.继续,接着做; 行进,前往

Many of the reasons stem from fear: fear of the future and the consequences of doing a good job. If I triumph in this moment, with this paper, proposal, or job or award application, what comes next? I will be expected to be better. My reputation will grow. Expectations of me will grow. My workload and pressure on me will grow.

许多原因都源于恐惧：对未来的恐惧和把工作做好的后果。如果我在这一刻取得了胜利，有了这篇论文、提案、工作或奖项申请，接下来会发生什么？我会被期望变得更好。我的声誉会提高。对我的期望会越来越高。我的工作量和压力将会增加。

stem：[stem], v.起源于;阻止; n.茎,梗

triumph：[ˈtraɪʌmf], v.成功,战胜; n.胜利

award：[əˈwɔːrd], n.奖金,奖品; v.授予;奖励

reputation：[ˌrepjuˈteɪʃn], n.名誉;名声

So we consciously—or more often, subconsciously—connive with ourselves: I will do something to stymie this growth. I will do something that will protect me from impending doom in the future when others find out I am a fraud who has no place here. I will protect myself against having to be more innovative, agile, productive, and successful in the future. I will stop here so I will be safe.

因此，我们有意识地或更经常地，潜意识地纵容自己：我要做一些事情来阻止这种成长。为了避免将来有人发现我是一个在这里滥竽充数的骗子，我会做一些事情来保护我，使我免受这样的厄运。我要保护自己，避免自己在未来被迫必须变得更加创新、敏捷、高效和成功。我会在这里停下来，这样我就安全了。

consciously：[ˈkɑnʃəsli]， adv.有意识地

subconsciously：[səbˈkɑnʃəsli]， adv.下意识地;潜意识地;本能地

connive：[kəˈnaɪv], v.纵容,默许; 共谋,同流合污

stymie：[ˈstaɪmi] , v.阻碍,妨碍

impending：[ɪmˈpendɪŋ], adj.迫在眉睫的;即将发生的

doom：[duːm], n.死亡;厄运; v.使…注定失败(或遭殃、死亡等)

fraud：[frɔːd], n.骗子；欺骗

agile：[ˈædʒaɪl], adj.敏捷的,灵活的

productive：[prəˈdʌktɪv], adj.多产的,高产的

But here’s how to really be safe: Recognize that we all have the capacity to self-sabotage, and we have the power to stop it.

但如何真正做到安全：认识到我们都有自我毁灭的能力，同时我们也有能力阻止它。

recognize：[ˈrekəɡnaɪz],v.承认;意识到;辨别出

Imagine yourself as a skyscraper. There is a framework holding up the floors and walls of the building. When you engage in self-sabotage, you bring instability to those floors. And when one floor is weak, the rest become unstable and can lead to systematic failure and building collapse.

把自己想象成一座摩天大楼。有一个框架支撑着大楼的地板和墙壁。当你进行自我破坏时，你会给那些楼层带来不稳定。而当层楼变薄弱时，其余结构也会随之晃动，并最终可能导致系统性故障和整栋大楼的坍塌。

skyscraper：[ˈskaɪskreɪpər], n.摩天大楼

framework：[ˈfreɪmwɜːrk], n.框架;(建筑物或物体的)构架

instability：[ˌɪnstəˈbɪləti], n.不稳定

collapse：[kəˈlæps], v.坍塌，崩溃

Because self-sabotage is an act of subversion against your established internal architecture, you can identify and qualify it by examining whether the act is in alignment with your “floors.” Ask yourself: Does this act violate my core tenets? Is this decision misaligned with my values and overarching objectives? If so, it is most likely self-sabotage.

因为自我破坏是一种颠覆你已建立的内部架构的行为，你可以通过检查这种行为是否与你的“楼层”一致来识别和评定它。问问你自己：这种行为是否违反了我的核心原则？这个决定是否与我的价值观和总体目标不一致？如果是这样，那很可能就是自我破坏。

subversion：[səbˈvɜːrʒn], n.颠覆，破坏

architecture：[ˈɑːrkɪtektʃər], n.结构,架构; 建筑学

tenet：[ˈtenɪt], n.原则,信条

overarching：[ˌoʊvərˈɑːrtʃɪŋ], adj.非常重要的;首要的

objective：[əbˈdʒektɪv], n.目标；adj.客观的

Note that these questions have nothing to do with the likelihood of success or failure. Electing to spend time on a fellowship application that is highly competitive is not an act of self-sabotage if it is aligned with who you are and what you want to do in your career. But applying for that fellowship and ignoring emails from your supervisor and not achieving the goals of your project is a true misalignment that will not serve you in the long run, regardless of whether you win the fellowship.

请注意，这些问题与成功或失败的可能性高低无关。选择花时间在一个极具竞争力的奖学金申请上并不是一种自我破坏行为，因为它与你是谁以及你在职业生涯中想做什么是相一致的。但是申请奖学金的同时，不仅无视导师的电子邮件，还放弃完成项目目标，这就是一种真正的错位了，从长远来看，无论你最终是否获得奖学金，这样的行为都不会为你的核心原则服务。

fellowship：[ˈfeloʊʃɪp], n.研究生奖学金; 伙伴关系,友谊

supervisor：[ˈsuːpərvaɪzər], n.导师

in the long run：长远来看= in the long term

regardless of：不管,不考虑

If you’re not sure whether you’re about to commit a dangerous act, consider how you are responding to the idea. Does it feel good? Does it elicit a response of happiness and peace? Most likely, your act of self-sabotage will be accompanied by a wave of unsettling emotions, such as anxiety or trepidation. These feelings point to you doing something that goes against your architecture. Don’t ignore those feelings.

如果你不确定你是否打算做一个危险的行为，思考一下你是如何回应这个想法的。它感觉好吗？它能引起幸福与和平的回应吗？最有可能的是，你的自我破坏行为会伴随着一系列令人不安的情绪，比如焦虑或恐惧。这些感觉就能告诉你：你做了一些与你的架构相违背的事情。不要忽视这些感受。

elicit：[iˈlɪsɪt], v.引出，诱出

unsettling：[ʌnˈsetlɪŋ], adj.令人不安的

trepidation：[ˌtrepɪˈdeɪʃn], n.恐惧，害怕

Instead, aim to set up a surveillance system to detect the emotions so you can make decisions accordingly. For example, early in my career as a speaker, other professionals in my field encouraged me to engage in what I could feel was risky behavior, in the name of “pushing myself outside my comfort zone.” “Try using a new type of vocabulary in your speeches,” they said. “How can you grow if you don’t try something new?” they asked.

相反，建立一个监控系统来检测情绪，这样你就可以做出相应的决定。例如，在我演讲者职业生涯的早期，我所在领域的其他专业人士鼓励我以“把自己推到舒适区之外”的名义从事我认为是危险的行为。“尝试在演讲中使用新的词汇，”他们这样说。“如果你不尝试新的东西，你怎么能成长？”他们问道。

surveillance：[sɜːrˈveɪləns], n.监控,监视

professional：[prəˈfeʃənl], adj.专业的；n.专业人士

comfort zone：舒适区

vocabulary：[vəˈkæbjəleri], n.词汇

For me, this suggestion was playing with fire. I could feel it was wrong. My surveillance system was hollering, so much so that I felt like I was drowning in nervousness—not excitement about adventuring into the unknown, but extreme fear about venturing toward a known hazard. So, I stopped. I listened to and trusted my gut. And as a wave of calmness and peace came over me, I appreciated my own power—to know what to do and to choose to do it.

但对我来说，这个建议是在玩火。我能感觉到这是错的。我的监控系统在大声嚎叫，以至于我感觉自己沉浸在紧张之中——不是对冒险进入未知世界的兴奋，而是对冒险进入已知危险的极度恐惧。于是，我停了下来。我听从并相信自己的直觉。当一股平静与安宁的浪潮席卷我时，我感激自己知道该做什么和选择做什么的能力。

holler：[ˈhɑːlər], v.嚎叫，大喊大叫

drown：[draʊn],  v.淹死,溺死; 浸透,淹没

venture：[ˈventʃər], v.冒险做

hazard：[ˈhæzərd], n.危险

I have learned from this and other previous acts (or almost-acts) of self-sabotage that when I feel uneasy, this is a moment of alarm. So, I have trained myself that, when I experience this feeling, I need to stop, breathe, find the origin of the emotional response, and make the decision that is right for me.

我从这件事和之前的其他自我破坏行为（或差点就真的做了的）中学到，我所感到的不安就是警报。所以，我训练自己，当我体验到这种感觉时，我需要停下来，呼吸，找到情绪反应的来源，并做出适合我的决定。

I don’t blame my colleagues for advising me as they did; they were just trying to help. They had no idea what my core architecture is like. I alone would have borne the blame if I had followed their advice and acted in a way that is against my architecture. Just because someone makes a suggestion doesn’t mean you have to implement it. Your inner voice, the internal you, is the only authority on what is right for you that matters.

我不会因为这些建议而责怪‍我的同事们，他们只是想帮忙。他们不知道我的核心架构是什么样的。但如果我听从了他们的建议，并采取了与我的架构背道而驰的行动，我将独自承担责任。仅仅因为有人提出建议并不意味着你必须实施它。你内心的声音，内在的你，是决定什么对你来说是正确的唯一权威。

colleague：[ˈkɑːliːɡ], n.同事

borne：[bɔːrn](bear的过去分词), v.承受;忍受

implement：[ˈɪmplɪmənt], v.执行;实施

Staying true to yourself and your values and principles does not mean that you don’t change and innovate as new information and opportunities become available. Indeed, we should all endeavor to grow, adjust, flex, and move to address new problems as they arise in our organizations, communities, and careers. But innovation will only succeed if it is aligned with our core architecture.

忠于自己、忠于自己的价值观和原则并不意味着你不需要随着新的信息和机遇的出现而改变和创新。事实上，我们都应该努力成长、调整、屈伸和行动来组织、社区和职业中出现的新问题。但创新只有与我们的核心架构保持一致时，才能成功。

flex：[fleks], v.弯曲,屈伸

Buttresses can help support and protect complex buildings—and the same is true for your personal skyscraper. Your system of buttresses consists of your internal authority and expertise, as well as external champions and cheerleaders. If you sense you may be about to make a move that could be self-sabotage, approach a trusted mentor, member of your board of directors or network at large, or peer. Ask their opinion about your proposed action and weigh the costs and benefits for you. Your network of allies ideally bolsters you over time, providing a long-term, strategic cushion against potential acts of self-sabotage.

扶壁有助于支撑和保护复杂的建筑，你的个人摩天大楼也是如此。你的支柱体系包括你的内部权威和专业知识，以及外援支持和啦啦队。如果你感觉自己可能会做出可能是自我毁灭的举动，那么就去找一位值得信赖的导师、董事会成员、或者整个人际关系网，或者同事。询问他们对你所提议的行动的意见，并权衡成本和收益。随着时间的推移，你的盟友网络会理想地支持你，为你提供一个长期的战略缓冲，防止潜在的自我破坏行为。

buttresses：[ˈbʌtrəsɪz], n.扶壁,支墩; v.支持;给…以力量

expertise：[ˌekspɜːrˈtiːz], n.专业知识

champion：[ˈtʃæmpiən], n.声援者,拥护者; 冠军;第一名‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍

‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍cheerleader：[ˈtʃɪrliːdər], n.拉拉队队员; 支持者,摇旗呐喊者

approach：[əˈproʊtʃ], n.方法; v.靠近，接近

mentor：[ˈmentɔːr], n.导师

weigh：[weɪ], v.衡量,权衡

bolster：[ˈboʊlstər], n.靠垫; v.加强,改善

cushion：[ˈkʊʃn], n.软垫,靠垫 v.缓冲

Your unicorn career is a precious commodity, and your architecture is awesome. Guard them carefully from attacks—especially those that emanate from within.

你的独角兽事业是一件珍贵的商品，你的建筑也很棒。小心地保护他们不受攻击，尤其是那些来自内部的攻击。

unicorn：[ˈjuːnɪkɔːrn], n.独角兽

precious：[ˈpreʃəs], adj.珍贵的

commodity：[kəˈmɑːdəti], n.商品；有用的东西，有使用价值的事物

emanate：[ˈeməneɪt], v.散发,产生,表现出

end

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